A New Way of Relating - brieflynotes

A New Way of Relating - brieflynotes

May 08, 2021

A New Way of Relating

When you hold a little chick in the palm of your hand, it is content to stay there. when you close your hand around it because you are afraid it will hop off, then it struggles to be free. That is the way it is in our relationships with others. When we try to possess them, they struggle to free themselves from being smothered. Personal relationships can only flower when love is freely given and freely received. When we love like that, we imitate God. In loving us, God took a tremendous risk - He created us with free will. We have a "smother-free" god who respects our power to say no. He holds us in his hand, but the hand is open, and our power to rest there freely is the dignity we receive from God. Only a love freely given and freely received can be meaningful and life-giving. Our own ways of loving may not be as life giving as God's ways. To the extent that we are possessive, we squeeze life out of relationships that should be vibrant and free.

Sometimes we show our possessiveness in our reluctance to let our loved ones change. Change demands new ways of relating, letting go of what seemed sure, and accepting anew that human friendships carry elements of risk. Letting go does not mean the ending of a loving relationship. It simply means letting the relationship rest freely on open hands. That is the best hope we have for friendships to last and grow.

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